My life  has changed dramatically over the past three years. The illness, the treatments, the ending and then the isolation of loss.

She was my reason to exist and I miss her terribly. I think I went a little insane for a few months afterwards and, perhaps, I still am a little.

I am going in the right direction but it is like a chameleon, Two drawn out, slow steps forward, always followed by one step back again. There are still times that I imagine she will walk through the door. I’m sure she won’t, but not absolutely certain about it.

I have got a spiritual view of the world that never existed for me before. A medic would say I’m delusional, but then, the world we think is real doesn’t, in reality, actually exist. It is how humans interpret what they see around them. We see a table, all other life forms see a fallen tree. We see a house, they see a cliff. Everything, all of it, only exists in human brains and nowhere else. The neighbourhood, the town, the country, our friends, the world. They exist in breathing humans’ brains, but nowhere else.