Fun and Games

It’s kids, kids, kids today but I love it once a week. I collect the two youngest from school at three-ish and by the time that I expect to get back home the other two older ones will have walked to our home.
As I drove home with the two youngest I got the usual demand,
“Tell us a story Granddad.”
I groan to myself and ask what the subject is.
“Four mermaids,” shouts Rose.
It is always mermaids these days replacing dinosaurs from six months ago which had themselves ousted Dragons.
Having thought about it I decided to tease Rose a little. Anna is too young to tease in this way yet.
“OK,” I began, “Once upon a time in a sea far away there were four mermaids. The eldest mermaid, who was called Eleanor, said to the other three mermaids, who were called Lauren, Anna and er, and er; do you know I can’t remember the last name…”
“Rose” shouted Rose, “It’s Rose”
“Oh yes, of course it is , I forgot”
A quick glance in the mirror confirmed that Rose was smiling as I had pulled that joke a few times before so that it was almost part of the story, some Audience participation if you like.
I then did the other classic tease; “So Eleanor told the other mermaids,” I continued, “that she had a boyfriend called Hippocampus.”
“Called what granddad?” asked Rose.
“Hippocampus Rose, that’s his name” I said. Well you can’t beat slipping a bit of education into daily life can you. “You watch Atlantis don’t you and hear that Pythagoras is a name. Well this boyfriend is called Hippocampus.” I pause for effect at this point.

“Have you got a boyfriend Rose!” I tease.
“No I don’t like boys.” shot back Rose.
“Are you sure Rose? Because you lost another tooth last week.”
“Tell the story granddad.” ordered Rose.
“Tell the story!” seconded Anna.
I had had my bit of fun with them then so told the story, or rather made up a story about the mermaids and the seahorses playing and having an adventure. They are usually poor stories but they seem to love them.

When we got home Rose released her seat belt and got out while Anna protested that she was still strapped in. She does this every time even though after getting out of the car and releasing her is always the first thing I do she still thinks it isn’t fast enough.
After lifting her down from the car she ran straight into the ‘left wide open’ front door while I gather the various pieces of detritus from a day at school’
As I enter the house Anna is sat on the bottom stair still trying to remove her boots, she has removed her coat by herself but one sleeve is inside out and it is dropped on the other coats and shoes in a pile blocking the doorway. I step in a long stride over them all and remove Anna’s boots whereupon she barges past me to find Lauren who she sees as reserve mum. One would think it would be her Nanna or possibly the eldest, Eleanor, but it isn’t it’s eleven year old Lauren who’s leg she by now has wrapped herself around. I pick up four coats and tile them overlapping up the side of the stairs then line up ten shoes along the wall out of the way then put my house shoes on (slip-on plimsolls) and finally step into the lounge and take my jacket off and go to put it away. Penny is in full flow cooking dinner, The Yorkshire Puddings are in, the roast potatoes are browning and the joint of beef is done and smells heavenly.
“Need a hand?” I say hoping she doesn’t but am instead told, “The table needs setting.”
It’s a drop leaf table that spends most of its existence neatly out of the way against a wall but at meal times is quickly spread out to increase its surface area by a factor of five and capable, at a push, to accommodate ten around it. This evening there are six of us. I then set about laying the table with place mats, cutlery, paper napkins ( something is always spilt), four chairs and two stools. No sooner was it all set up than Anna was up on a stool and demanding to know when it would be served. Rose quickly joined her sister on the other stool (That’s who the elevating stools are for),
“Can I have a drink granddad” whined Anna quickly backed up by Rose.
“Yes, yes,” I techily replied, adding “I will ask Nanna about it.” I said playing for time but it didn’t work as Penny responded immediately with,
“there’s a new bottle of fresh orange juice in the cupboard.”
Saint Lauren came to my assistance as she often does and got four glasses from the shelf and the juice from the cupboard and poured each of them a glass then cut the straws down an inch and put one in each of three of the glasses. All four were by now sat at the table and Eleanor picked up her glass and in a mock toast movement knocked Anna’s glass of juice over flooding the table, the floor and Anna.
“Wooer” moaned Anna but it wasn’t clear if it was for the loss of her drink or because she was wet or a mix of both. At this point I slipped away upstairs pretending to fulfill a task but all I did was draw the upstairs curtains and mouch about a bit.
“Dinner’s ready!” someone shouted so I returned to find all was put to rights and Anna was in clean clothes and the food was on the table and it smelt gorgeous. I served Rose next to me cutting all her food up and sneaking another sprout on her plate when she wasn’t looking. Lauren sorted out Anna and Eleanor was busily eating everything in sight.

As we were all finishing the main course I noted with pleasure that there was enough beef left for a sandwich for my supper later in the evening.
“Who wants pudding?” asked Penny.
“Worrisit?” asked Eleanor without a salutation.
“It’s apple crumble with pouring cream or squirty,” responded Penny which is a big change from her usual corrective “No Eleanor, ‘what have you made for us please Nanna?’.
“O-er, I won’t have any Nanna, I’m full up.”
“Good” says I, “more for us as does”.
After eating the pudding I too was full up so I went to lay on the small sofa. As I relaxed and drifted into the half awake world Anna decided to take a flying leap onto me or rather my stomach.
“No no Anna, not when I’m not expecting it.” I gasped, “Leave me be.”

They all gave up on me then and sparked up the Wii and put the disco dance on. I only remember Morten Harket rippling up and down five octaves while apparently dancing to his song “take on me”. What a voice.

Later on Penny offered to take them all home while I cleared up and washed up.

(Does he wash up? Never wash up Does he clean up? No, he never cleans up Does he brush up? Never brushed up He does nothing, the boy does nothing,
And if the man can’t dance
He gets no second chance)

I digress. We gathered their things together and loaded them into the car then I hugged and kissed them all and waved them off.
It was soon after this that I noticed that all the beef, bar a few crumb sized bits had gone. There was nothing left. I found out later that Rose had sat at the table and slowly munched her way through the lot. I can’t blame her, It was delicious.

And so was the Australian red a little later.

Restful deep purple